When I was a kid, I loved Yoshi. Then again, kids do stupid things.
Nowadays I hate him/her/whatever this fucking creature is, due to many reasons. But the number one reason was his goddamned, squeacky, ear-damaging voice. And so the adventure between me and some spooky shit has started....again!
It was a sunny day. Because I was lazy, I stayed at home and watched some John Madden football. But then....some douche threw some box in my face. Yes, I know that the window was open, but why, for WHAT reason that person did that? The person, who threw the box in my face, said:
"Hey, punk! Wanna dis?".
I said nothing. I just prepared my 3DS for some bizzare and druggy shit. After that, I checked the box. The front was empty, so I was curious. Then I opened it....
"Are you kidding me......".
It was Yoshi's New Island.....the mine most hated Nintendo game ever. Its like that the persoon, who threw it at me, was mocking me. The box also contained the note. I checked it. The handwritting was deplorable. My eyes were tearing up because of it. On the note this was written:
"Hey there, buddy.
I heard that you like video games, so I bought you this.
I hope you (don't) like it.
Bye.
(P.S: Get psyched)".
I cringed like it was tomorrow. Pardon me for all of this, I'll play the game.....and you are going to regret it.
So the game started with THE MOST EAR-SPLITTING MUSIC EVER (fucking kazoos). My ears were already bleeding. After I selected the save file....the expected happened.
In the intro, Yoshi's were eating a human corpse which was super-duper ultra hyper-realistic or whatever they call it. Then the Yoshi's were looking at me and said: "You're next!". They had realistic eyes.
I was fucking yawning. I saw this stuff for like, million times.
THEN THE FUCKERS START WARPING IN TO THE REAL WORLD. Luckily, I was prepared for it, so I grabbed my pitchfork and stabbed these creatures and put them in the oven. I ate them. They were bloody disgusting.
Tired as a sloth, I went to sleep. No nightmares, big surprise...not.
Next day I booted up my computer. It took some time. After some time (No, I don't need a stopwatch, Tom), I went on Internet. After these events I tried to tell some of my fellow users on Deviant when suddenly........
No, fuck it. Fuck this shit. Fuck my life, I quit......Of all the things, Yoshi vore gets........There is no hope.
Bye, world.......Then I realised something.
I'm already a demon.